You’re not meant to parent alone, my love

You’re not meant to parent alone, yet so many of us do (or at least it often feels that way).

Especially in the West, many of us live apart from our extended family - by cultural default or by choice, and cultural conditioning has taught us not to admit our ‘weakness’, not to ask for help.

And so we soldier, on, behind closed doors, often feeling alienated from our partners who may seem to parent very differently, or not understand why we appear to struggle.

And we feel guilty for not coping better, when we have so much.

But the truth of the matter is:

We were meant to awake to 20 pairs of eyes outside our hut, eager to hear and share in our dreams (a phrase from Francis Weller’s beautiful book The Wild Edge of Sorrow about grief, and the lost ancient ways).

Said differently:

We are not meant to parent alone.

It may not be possible or desirable in this moment to rearrange our lives so we parent in an ‘in-the-flesh’ ‘tribe’ or soul-level community, however, it is absolutely possible to feel and receive WAY more support than we currently are.

That support may come - as we heal wounds and collective shadow - via our extended friends and family and local community members, yet until - and as - we do that healing and reach out to those extended networks, we likely need support and love now.

This is where The Cherished Mother comes in to remind us of ways we are supported and loved and can feel supported and loved, in this moment.

Perhaps a robin you see on your way to work, a feather which falls at your feet, a favourite flower you pick and put on your desk, a warming tea you make for yourself with love and attention.

She (The Cherished Mother) teaches us how to feel held in the bosom of creation, in Mother Nature and Spirits arms.

This might sound annoyingly esoteric, or fanciful, but this:

this ‘gnowing’ of our innate place in the great family of things,

of being ‘not separate’ from all that is -

from the stars and the love from which we come;

of which we are,

is our birthright.

And The Cherished Mother wants women to claim it as so.

To teach their children it as so.

BECAUSE this can seems fantastical and fanciful, this is where a vision community of like-hearted women, reaching out to each other, came so strongly to Janet and I (who have received the love and support of women in such circles), and know with every bone in our body: we are not meant to do parenting or living a soul-led life, alone.